Be Safe

Working in an office setting for over 30 years, I’ve turned into a bit of an autotron when it comes to seeing colleagues at the beginning of a work day. It’s pretty casual. It’s pretty rote --

Me -- Good morning… How are you?

Colleague -- I’m good. How are you?

Me -- I’m good

In the last year though, people have been interfering with what my mind learned was so automatic that it was something I just didn’t have to think about. With this new interference, my mind has gone rogue. It all started when colleagues altered the way they responded to my greeting and how they answered my question.

Me -- Good morning… How are you?

Colleague -- I am well. How are you?

The response “well” instead of “good” has now triggered that rogue part of my brain. It is now fully engaged and I have a dilemma. My brain knows that “well” is the grammatically correct response. My brain also knows that most people, because we speak in colloquialisms say “good”, not “well”. So how do I now respond to someone who says “well”. Do I mirror the response and say “I’m well” so that she knows I know it’s grammatically correct to say well instead of good? If I respond with “good” as I normally would, how will that person know that I know “well” is grammatically correct but I’ve chosen to respond colloquially? What I’ve now decided to do is just mirror their response. If they are good… I’m good. If they are well… well then I’m well.

But what happens when I can’t beat them to the good morning punch? What happens if they go first and ask how I am first? I then have to decide, do I answer good or well? Dilemma again right? I’ve been using good and well about 50/50. What I really hate is when I answer good and they answer well. We should all just get on the same page… Respond to a colloquial with a colloquial or respond to a grammatically correct with a grammatically correct.

My autotron ways have also been interfered with when leaving at night.

Me -- Good night. See you tomorrow (later).

Colleague -- Good night. Have a good one.

But then ever so slowly, not only from colleagues but from others, the exchange took a turn.

Me -- Good night. See you tomorrow (later).

Colleague (or other) -- Good night. Be safe.

So when did people start telling each other to “Be Safe”. It’s being used more frequently and by more people. Was it after 9/11? Has it become more prevalent because the community mistrusts those who serve to protect us? In other communities, the greeting may be “Shalom” (Complete Peace; harmony), or Namaste (my spirit bows to your spirit; from my heart to yours). Telling one another to “be safe” says a lot about where we are and who we are as a community.

It has led me to realize how much I take safety and peace for granted. On Maslow’s chart for self-actualization, according to Maslow, one of the lower levels which must first be met before advancing to the next level toward self-actualization is safety. In Abrahams Maslow’s Theory of Human Motivation, published in 1943, of the five levels identified, safety is one of the bottom two. The first level—the very basic of our basic needs is food, water, etc.

Safety is one of those basic type of needs. We need to feel we are safe at a basic level before we can begin to satisfy our need for belonging, for love; before we can begin to satisfy our need for recognition from others; before we can begin to reach the pinnacle—toward self-actualization. In other words—pretty important stuff.

So… how to respond to others when they tell me to “be safe”? “I will?” “You too?” Merely saying, “Okay, you have a good night” in response to a “be safe” seems inadequate. So far, I just haven’t responded. But I do think about it. I turn the phrase over and over in my head. It’s strange. When I hear the words be safe instead of see you later (or tomorrow), I focus on it… my safety… my well-being… and somehow I do feel safer. I feel as if “be safe” has placed a protective shield around me. So, maybe when someone tells me to be safe, I should just say thank you.

Be safe my friends.

Patricia Nemeth received her Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Michigan (Ann Arbor). She earned her Juris Doctorate and Masters of Labor Law degree from Wayne State University School of Law. She is the founding partner of Nemeth Law, P.C. which is celebrating its 25th Anniversary in 2017. Patricia decided to start a personal blog because she wanted to write about topics other than the law.