Meeting People Where They Are….

Emotionally……

Recognizing where we are and where others are… emotionally… and how to support each other. Easier said than done.

To meet someone where they are emotionally, you need to understand and honor where you are. And these days that could be changing day by day; minute by minute. So it requires that you take your own emotional temperature. Where am I today? What can I handle? How can I show up if I’m working (either from home or in the workplace)? Can I do anything more than show up physically? Is it one of those days where I struggle just to get one thing accomplished? Or is this a day that I have more bandwidth? The ability to show up for others emotionally and connect with them in a meaningful way? What does this person need? And am I in a space where I can help?

To help and connect with others during this pandemic, we also need to understand and honor where they are. Again, easier said than done. As our emotions may be changing day by day… so are theirs. At least that’s been my experience when checking in on family and friends. One day, they’re “fine”…. Maybe not ecstatically happy, but grateful for what they have (including their health). Some days they are at emotional neutral zone ground zero. Some days they are anxious depending on myriad factors—working on the front lines, knowing someone who has tested positive, learning a friend lost the battle, being advised you’ve been exposed… that you have tested positive, struggling with finances or getting food, being isolated, returning to work, going out after having been in for so long, the thought of re-acclimating to the human race and the stresses that can cause. Some days they are depressed, with a general “down” hopeless feeling about life as it currently is and opportunities lost, celebrations lost, missing loved ones, the uncertainty of it all…..

And make no mistake about it—the pandemic is impacting everyone emotionally to one extent or another. What that impact is…what the trigger is… is different for every person. And like the pandemic itself, it hits people at different times. A friend who is fine one day is worried about a child, a parent, herself, another friend the next. Or… count the ways… just worried.

Interestingly though, as this pandemic has continued, I’ve also seen that people are finding their ways in different ways through this thing. Answers appear from different sources when they are open to seeing, hearing and acting upon the answers provided. Answers in many various forms—like receiving unexpected financial or other support, turning off CNN to decrease anxiety and increase the ability to sleep, stumbling upon a religious message from long ago which now offers clarity, reaching out to estranged friends/family, or focusing on health—healthy eating, exercise, meditation.

During this pandemic, it’s been important for me to understand everyone is on their own journeys. Everyone is finding a way as best they can. Everyone is foraging their own paths as best they can. So, when I am trying to connect with another person, I need to connect with them ….wherever they are. If someone believes that this is the end of the world as foretold in Scriptures, I need to understand the fear inherent in his words, acknowledge, and emotionally support that fear. And when he has found an answer to address that fear, I need to acknowledge and emotionally support that too. Because that is his path and the answer that has found its way to him to help him through this. When someone needs to emotionally isolate in order to garner strength for the following day, I need to honor that path as well.

For me, it’s been a learning process. It’s been all about learning how to honor and respect the different paths we are all on right now while also trying to be supportive. Trying to meet people where they are….emotionally.

Patricia Nemeth received her Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Michigan (Ann Arbor). She earned her Juris Doctorate and Masters of Labor Law degree from Wayne State University School of Law. She is the founding partner of Nemeth Law, P.C. which celebrated its 25th Anniversary in 2017. Patricia decided to start a personal blog because she wanted to write about topics other than the law.