Waters Reflecting What is Real…
- Feb 13, 2016
- 3 min read
It seems wherever we look, there are messages about being positive. Even leaving the Red Wings game after a loss, fans hear the song “Look on the bright side of life”… And it is important to be positive. But it’s also important to look at the negatives—to not ignore the negatives. Seeing the world as it is--that’s different than looking at the world in a skewed positive light—through rose colored glasses as the saying goes. Sometimes, we look through rose colored glasses but have no idea that’s what we’re doing. It’s our reality. It’s how we want things to be and so that’s how we see them. It happens with work colleagues. It happens with children, with parents, with significant others/spouses. We look at and give weight to all the positives and overlook the negatives. Of course, the reverse may also be true. But I want to focus on how we overlook negatives. There may be red flags that we completely ignore because it doesn’t fit in the world we’ve created; the world as we want it to be; wish that it were. And if we ignore the red flags—pretend not to see them—then, that is what our world becomes. Sooner or later, too many red flags appear. Too many negatives—too many absences, too many missed deadlines, too many factually deficient tales. And that is when the walls come tumbling down, where reality collides with the fantasy world we’ve created. A collision so significant that we simply cannot ignore it any longer.
Recently I connected this phenomenon to one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s (“Thay’s”) teachings. Thay (teacher as he is called) is a Buddhist Vietnamese monk who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1967 by Dr. Martin Luther King. He was exiled from Viet Nam in 1973. He was not allowed to return to his homeland until 2005. A prolific writer based in Plum Village, France, Thay also held Buddhist retreats here in the United States every other year. While his followers still hold such retreats, Thay, now 89, works to recover from the effects of a stroke. I had the great privilege to attend a number of Thay’s retreats, where the monks chant and share songs. The simplicity yet complexity of one of the children’s songs continues to resonate with me.
Breathing In…. Breathing Out
Breathing In….Breathing Out
I am blooming as a flower
I am fresh as the dew
I am solid as a mountain
I am firm as the earth
I am free…
It’s the second verse of this song that serves as the lesson for those of us who have the tendency, in certain situations, to minimize the negatives.
Breathing In… Breathing Out
Breathing In…Breathing Out
I am water reflecting
What is real; what is true
And I feel there is space
Deep inside of me.
I am free… I am free… I am free.
When we are caught up in situations where we are aware of our biases (either to see someone in too positive of a light or too negative of a light), it’s important to remain still. It’s important to be calm. It’s important to recognize what is reflecting off of us as we remain still. It’s important to see what is real, what is true. To see things as they actually are rather than the way we want them to be. To deal with people where they are emotionally rather than where we want them to be. To accept where we are emotionally rather than where we or others may want us to be.
Patricia Nemeth received her Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Michigan (Ann Arbor). She earned her Juris Doctorate and Masters of Labor Law degree from Wayne State University School of Law. She is the founding partner of Nemeth Law, P.C. which is celebrating its 25th Anniversary in 2017. Patricia decided to start a personal blog because she wanted to write about topics other than the law.
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